This week has been pretty crappy. I'm not gonna lie.
I feel like every thing that happens puts me worse and worse into depression and that nothing seems to be going the way I'd like for it to.
I haven't ranted here in a bit so I figured to take the crap off my mind I'd post something.
I have this thing called endometriosis. It's a disease of epic proportions. It's painful as fuuuuuck and can take away my ability to have children. I've had 2 surgeries so far (I'm only 21) and I'm pretty sure I'll be having surgeries for this for the rest of my life :/
What I don't understand and what gets me so riled up about this is the fact that little girls who don't even want to take care of their children like they should are having kids left and right. It's like adding 1+1 and getting 3. Because that's what's happening.
My new co-worker, I'll call her Lil'mama, is 19 years old. She has a boyfriend who is like 12 years older than her and she also has a set of twins. A boy and a girl. They are three months old. All she does is complain about them and how they don't stop crying and how they sleep in the bed with her and she can't move when she's sleeping.
I want to put my hands around her throat sometimes and be like "BITCH. You have it fucking made! You have a boyfriend that loves you and two beautiful children! Stop complaining about whether or not they cry! They are babies. It's what they do!"
Some people just aren't mature enough to handle children. Now that's not to say that if I had twins at the age of 19 (which I obviously did not) that I wouldn't be complaining that they cry a lot, but this girl takes the complaining to an extreme. She complains to our customers and gives new mothers or expectant mothers advice. I guess I'm just over it. She used to work at the restaurant last year but quit when she got pregnant and had to be admitted to the hospital because she was such a high risk pregnacy.
Another thing that has been bothering me:
I talked to my ex last week. Fucking asshole.
He told me that his mom hired a lawyer and was prepared to sue me because I called him a stalker because he called all of my friends to see what I was doing.
He also told me that none of our friends wanted to talk to me. I believed him. Just like I did when we were dating.
He also said that I "had no right" to call his parents/brother and let them know that he was trying to pick his stuff and leave or that he told me that he tried to kill himself or that he was thinking about it still or that he wrote a suicide note.
He also said "You breaking up with me was the best thing that ever happened to me."
Right.
Being suicidal is the best thing to happen to a persom, says every person out there who is dead because of suicide or their family members who miss that person every day or their friends. Yeah.
His mother hiring a lawyer to sue me would not end well for them. I have 20+ minutes of voicemails on my phone from the fucktard begging me to call him. I'm so sick of him. And he's completely filled my inbox. I can only hold 2-3 more voicemails before it starts to tell me that the inbox is full. I could get him for harrassment so fast, those handcuffs would be closed around his wrists before he knew what was going on.
I was stupid for believing him when he said our friends didn't want to talk to me. One of them definitely doesn't but that's because he's an asshole and is tired of my ex's shit. I don't even bring up my ex in conversation anymore. It's not worth it. He's not worth it. My friends have been amazing through all of this. My only regret is that they got too involved with the break up and now they're just tired of everything.
Sorry, y'all.
This is a lot longer than I thought it would be...
(that's what she said)
My grandpa has lung cancer. It's not good, but it's not terrible. It's somewhere in between. But with his many health problems, it's not good. He got hospitalized last week for pneumonia. I just pray all the time that he gets back to being healthy so one day, when it eventually happens, he can be at my wedding and I can dance with him again like I did with I was little.
A storm passed through south eastern Louisiana. Flooded most of Plaquemines Parish and some of St. Tammany Parish. On the day of Katrina's 7th anniversary too. I lived there during Katrina. I still have nightmares of the storm. That and Hurricane Rita. Gah. That storm screwed me up.
On a slightly positive note though... :)
I am talking to a guy. He's sweet and smart, if not a little clueless at times... Im afraid of telling him that I like him. He gives me the butterflies. Why do men hold so much power over us? Lol I don't mind with this one. He's so sweet. Gah. :)
On that note...
I'm going to go to sleep smiling tonight :)
Night y'all.
