I don't think my ass has gotten that fat.
I went out and bought two new pairs though. Hopefully these stay together for a long time.
Time for my ass to get back into the gym for real though.
Monday, June 24, 2013
Saturday, June 22, 2013
Guess who's back. Back again.
Janie's back.
Tell some men.
Because I'm also single.
Oh goodness. I think i was still single the last time I was on here.
I just ended what was a whirlwind kinda thing. I really liked "LT Ginger". He was such a sweet guy, but he suffers from terrible depression. It put a huge rift in our relationship because, well, I have it also. And there is only so much ignoring that I can take until I say "fuck it" and drive to his place, banging on his door demanding an answer. Or an "I don't want you around anymore" that's all I needed. I got my "I don't want you around. I'm sorry I had to do it this way." Cried a few tears and then moved on. It's really better if I don't let him control my emotional being. It's already extremely fragile and to let someone as emotionally unstable as that to handle it is just a huge mistake. I am sad. Please, don't get me wrong. But I also realize that it's better this way. I'm going to miss his company and his arms. But I know that it wasn't ever going to turn into anything more, which is kind of what I want.
I have some good news though as far as my jobs go.
I have two jobs now.
I still work at the restaurant, but I now also work at the local airport. I'm really excited about this. I love airplanes and I've been after this job for a while now.
I received a weird promotion at work. Instead of waiting tables, I'll be at the register, tending to customer needs, making sure people are doing their jobs, following code. I'm excited because this also means I get another hefty raise :) and I get to hire and fire at will. So bitches at work better watch out. I'm tired of the shitty attitudes I see from them. I can do something about it now. So they better watch it.
I also have been going to school. It's been difficult. I don't understand math at all. And I'm taking that along with anatomy 2. The prof for A&P is awesome so I don't have a problem with that class. It's the math I'm concerned about. I stink at it and since my math person just broke up with me today, I'm just going to have to try double hard at getting a passing grade in it.
2nd to last thing:
I've started living a healthier lifestyle. I only eat one sweet per week. My day is tomorrow. I'm going to the local cupcake shop and getting the stuffed french toast cupcake which is amazing. I wish they'd had them today so I could eat my feelings away. I've also cut out all soda. Just water and 100% fruit juice all day every day. I can see a different in my body which is nice, but I can also feel a difference in the way my body reacts to things. It's also nice. I've been going to the gym. Working out. Getting back into shape. Now that I'm single, I think, why not? I have nothing better to do.
Last thing (I promise!)
Okay, so since I'll have extra cash coming in, I'm going to start saving up for certain things
1) School and loans
2) A freaking gun. I've been wanting a 9mm Taurus Millenium Pro G2 for FOREVER. Now, hopefully, I'll have the cash for it.
3) Vibrams. I've been wanting them for a while.
4) A new bed. I've had this one since I was in 4th grade. Yepp. I was like 9 last time I got a new bed. Meaning this one is almost 15 years old. Same mattress and box spring. I need something better than this. I'm probably laying on straight springs right now lmao.
So... I'm sorry this hasn't been updated in a long time. I've had a lot of things going on and a lot to work out in my life. But just venting on here has made my mind quieter tonight which I needed.
Anyways, have a good one, y'all!
Janie Marie
Tell some men.
Because I'm also single.
Oh goodness. I think i was still single the last time I was on here.
I just ended what was a whirlwind kinda thing. I really liked "LT Ginger". He was such a sweet guy, but he suffers from terrible depression. It put a huge rift in our relationship because, well, I have it also. And there is only so much ignoring that I can take until I say "fuck it" and drive to his place, banging on his door demanding an answer. Or an "I don't want you around anymore" that's all I needed. I got my "I don't want you around. I'm sorry I had to do it this way." Cried a few tears and then moved on. It's really better if I don't let him control my emotional being. It's already extremely fragile and to let someone as emotionally unstable as that to handle it is just a huge mistake. I am sad. Please, don't get me wrong. But I also realize that it's better this way. I'm going to miss his company and his arms. But I know that it wasn't ever going to turn into anything more, which is kind of what I want.
I have some good news though as far as my jobs go.
I have two jobs now.
I still work at the restaurant, but I now also work at the local airport. I'm really excited about this. I love airplanes and I've been after this job for a while now.
I received a weird promotion at work. Instead of waiting tables, I'll be at the register, tending to customer needs, making sure people are doing their jobs, following code. I'm excited because this also means I get another hefty raise :) and I get to hire and fire at will. So bitches at work better watch out. I'm tired of the shitty attitudes I see from them. I can do something about it now. So they better watch it.
I also have been going to school. It's been difficult. I don't understand math at all. And I'm taking that along with anatomy 2. The prof for A&P is awesome so I don't have a problem with that class. It's the math I'm concerned about. I stink at it and since my math person just broke up with me today, I'm just going to have to try double hard at getting a passing grade in it.
2nd to last thing:
I've started living a healthier lifestyle. I only eat one sweet per week. My day is tomorrow. I'm going to the local cupcake shop and getting the stuffed french toast cupcake which is amazing. I wish they'd had them today so I could eat my feelings away. I've also cut out all soda. Just water and 100% fruit juice all day every day. I can see a different in my body which is nice, but I can also feel a difference in the way my body reacts to things. It's also nice. I've been going to the gym. Working out. Getting back into shape. Now that I'm single, I think, why not? I have nothing better to do.
Last thing (I promise!)
Okay, so since I'll have extra cash coming in, I'm going to start saving up for certain things
1) School and loans
2) A freaking gun. I've been wanting a 9mm Taurus Millenium Pro G2 for FOREVER. Now, hopefully, I'll have the cash for it.
3) Vibrams. I've been wanting them for a while.
4) A new bed. I've had this one since I was in 4th grade. Yepp. I was like 9 last time I got a new bed. Meaning this one is almost 15 years old. Same mattress and box spring. I need something better than this. I'm probably laying on straight springs right now lmao.
So... I'm sorry this hasn't been updated in a long time. I've had a lot of things going on and a lot to work out in my life. But just venting on here has made my mind quieter tonight which I needed.
Anyways, have a good one, y'all!
Janie Marie
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Girl, look at that body!!
I've been working out 4 times a week for 2 hours at a time (1hour exercises, 1 walk) for the last 2 weeks and I have already seen progress. I'm really proud of myself and the girls I workout with. One of them weighed in at 230lbs, with a large waist measurement. She's already lost an inch or two off of her waist line. She's always pushing to do more which gets me pumped up to work out.
After our vigorous workouts, we go for a run. It's 3 miles total. I run a mile and walk the other two. But I'm working up to run more than that. I'm in pretty good shape. I should be more than able to.
Anyways, I figured I'd post something and working out is the only thing I can think of :)
Hope you've had a great day :)
After our vigorous workouts, we go for a run. It's 3 miles total. I run a mile and walk the other two. But I'm working up to run more than that. I'm in pretty good shape. I should be more than able to.
Anyways, I figured I'd post something and working out is the only thing I can think of :)
Hope you've had a great day :)
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Endometriosis Awareness Month
*warning* this may get a little graphic
I had my first period when I was 11 or 12. Since I was 13, every period was literally hell. I had knee weakening pain at least once a month for 2-3 days at a time. My parents thought I was either being overly dramatic or that it was normal for a girl to have pains like that. I remember rolling around on the floor of our living room in my freshman year of high school because I could not stand up as the pain was too much for me. I've missed days of school and work due to the pain. Having sex was a pain like I'd never felt before in my life. Like knives in areas that knives should never be.
In 2011 I started passing large blood clots and decided I needed to go to the doctor. My original thought was that I was pregnant and was having a miscarriage so I was terrified. When the doctor informed me that I was not pregnant, nor had never been pregnant, I was relieved. But when he told me he suspected I had "endometriosis" I was a little lost. I had no idea what that meant.I've never heard of it before. He gave me a pamphlet and told me that surgery would be the only way to truly diagnose it. He also told me there was no cure. I'd be dealing with it until I am finished having children, if I could even have children, and then I'd have to have a hysterectomy done.
I had my first surgery in July. They diagnosed me with stage 4 endo. I found out that the reason my left side always hurt more was because my left ovary was stuck to my colon and back muscles. It also explained my back problems that I had for years. He lasered off some of the endo, but left the ovary where it was. He said with it being attached to the colon, he couldn't remove it without a chance of rupturing the colon which would put me at risk for major infection or a colostomy bag.
He put me on Lupron for 6 months. It messed up my memory, made me severely depressed, made my bones hurt, and made my hair thin quite a bit. I have been advising against Lupron since my first month of it.
I had my second surgery on March 5, 2012. He detatched my left ovary from my back and colon with no problems. He also removed some more endo. I still had a ton in there, but he was trying to stop most of it with birth control.
I think being an endo girl has changed me. When I first had sex, it was enjoyable. But after the endo got worse in the last two years, I started putting it on the back burner. It was no longer important to me and I never wanted to do it. I do now, every once in a while, but its not important to me. It's made me more vocal about getting yourself checked when you have any strange or extreme pains. I probably won't be able to have children because I waited for so long to see a doctor about it. If I could go back and change that, obviously I would. But I'm now more open to adoption.
(let me get on top of my soapbox here)
If you or anyone you know has extreme cramping before or during your period, please please please get yourself checked. You will cramp during your period. That is normal. But not being able to move around or crying from the pain is not. It's worth a trip to your doctor if it means you can have children later on in life. If you need help with resources, just ask me. I have become quite the endo expert in the last year thanks to an endo facebook group I joined.
(getting down)
Okay, so now it's time for me to do some homework or study or something lol
I hope y'all have a great night :)
I had my first period when I was 11 or 12. Since I was 13, every period was literally hell. I had knee weakening pain at least once a month for 2-3 days at a time. My parents thought I was either being overly dramatic or that it was normal for a girl to have pains like that. I remember rolling around on the floor of our living room in my freshman year of high school because I could not stand up as the pain was too much for me. I've missed days of school and work due to the pain. Having sex was a pain like I'd never felt before in my life. Like knives in areas that knives should never be.
In 2011 I started passing large blood clots and decided I needed to go to the doctor. My original thought was that I was pregnant and was having a miscarriage so I was terrified. When the doctor informed me that I was not pregnant, nor had never been pregnant, I was relieved. But when he told me he suspected I had "endometriosis" I was a little lost. I had no idea what that meant.I've never heard of it before. He gave me a pamphlet and told me that surgery would be the only way to truly diagnose it. He also told me there was no cure. I'd be dealing with it until I am finished having children, if I could even have children, and then I'd have to have a hysterectomy done.
I had my first surgery in July. They diagnosed me with stage 4 endo. I found out that the reason my left side always hurt more was because my left ovary was stuck to my colon and back muscles. It also explained my back problems that I had for years. He lasered off some of the endo, but left the ovary where it was. He said with it being attached to the colon, he couldn't remove it without a chance of rupturing the colon which would put me at risk for major infection or a colostomy bag.
He put me on Lupron for 6 months. It messed up my memory, made me severely depressed, made my bones hurt, and made my hair thin quite a bit. I have been advising against Lupron since my first month of it.
I had my second surgery on March 5, 2012. He detatched my left ovary from my back and colon with no problems. He also removed some more endo. I still had a ton in there, but he was trying to stop most of it with birth control.
I think being an endo girl has changed me. When I first had sex, it was enjoyable. But after the endo got worse in the last two years, I started putting it on the back burner. It was no longer important to me and I never wanted to do it. I do now, every once in a while, but its not important to me. It's made me more vocal about getting yourself checked when you have any strange or extreme pains. I probably won't be able to have children because I waited for so long to see a doctor about it. If I could go back and change that, obviously I would. But I'm now more open to adoption.
(let me get on top of my soapbox here)
If you or anyone you know has extreme cramping before or during your period, please please please get yourself checked. You will cramp during your period. That is normal. But not being able to move around or crying from the pain is not. It's worth a trip to your doctor if it means you can have children later on in life. If you need help with resources, just ask me. I have become quite the endo expert in the last year thanks to an endo facebook group I joined.
(getting down)
Okay, so now it's time for me to do some homework or study or something lol
I hope y'all have a great night :)
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
GAH!
I am so sick of ruining my jeans!! In the last year, I've ripped TWO pairs! Now the first pair, I had NO business bein in. But this pair that just ripped were my favorite pair. I am not that big!
It's time to work out. Nothing is better motivation that ripping your jeans.
It's time to work out. Nothing is better motivation that ripping your jeans.
Monday, February 18, 2013
This is me missing you.
Dear Paw, I'm writing this letter to you because, well, I miss you.
I think about you all the time. And I always think to myself "man, I really wish I could talk to him right now."
It's been a month and a few days since you left this life on this earth and made your way to heaven. This has quite possibly been the hardest month of my entire life. I've talked to Maw once since we got back from Louisiana. I would call more often, but I always think "I can't wait to tell Paw about this or that" and then I remember that I won't be hearing your voice again and I get sad again. Then I don't want to call. But Momma and Daddy call her everyday. So don't you worry about her. She's being taken cared of.
I'm supposed to be going fly tomorrow with that boy I was telling you about a few months ago. I am so excited. I kinda have this ridiculous hope that I'll see you in the clouds. I know that won't happen. But it's nice to hope.
Anyways, I know you're happy and pain free in heaven. If not, I will have a very stern talking to with the Lord when my day comes. Nobody treats my Paw badly and gets away with it. Keep an eye on us. Especially on D. He needs strength and guidance. He's on a bad path, but you knew that. Even before you left...
I miss you SO much, Paw.
And I love you BIG BIG like the world!!! I know you saw me stretch my arms out haha :)
Oh and watch for me tomorrow when Michael takes me up. I'll be sure to wave to you.
Love you.
I think about you all the time. And I always think to myself "man, I really wish I could talk to him right now."
It's been a month and a few days since you left this life on this earth and made your way to heaven. This has quite possibly been the hardest month of my entire life. I've talked to Maw once since we got back from Louisiana. I would call more often, but I always think "I can't wait to tell Paw about this or that" and then I remember that I won't be hearing your voice again and I get sad again. Then I don't want to call. But Momma and Daddy call her everyday. So don't you worry about her. She's being taken cared of.
I'm supposed to be going fly tomorrow with that boy I was telling you about a few months ago. I am so excited. I kinda have this ridiculous hope that I'll see you in the clouds. I know that won't happen. But it's nice to hope.
Anyways, I know you're happy and pain free in heaven. If not, I will have a very stern talking to with the Lord when my day comes. Nobody treats my Paw badly and gets away with it. Keep an eye on us. Especially on D. He needs strength and guidance. He's on a bad path, but you knew that. Even before you left...
I miss you SO much, Paw.
And I love you BIG BIG like the world!!! I know you saw me stretch my arms out haha :)
Oh and watch for me tomorrow when Michael takes me up. I'll be sure to wave to you.
Love you.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
The Newer Me :)
Since coming back from my Paw's funeral in Louisiana and giving myself an extra week to get used to my world without him, I've made some new rules for myself.
1) Go to school- In the past 2 years, my drive to go to class has diminished. I hated going to class and sitting there listening to the professor ramble on and on about things I would not use in my career as a medical professional. I've failed out of school twice already and I'm only 22. I'm tired of failing and the #1 way to stop that is to actually go to class. Since coming back from La, I've only missed one class and that was the day after Superbowl. I had a late night spent making amends with a friend, so school would not have been productive had I gone.
2) Do your homework- This is another bad habit I have. Not doing my homework. Either that or waiting until the last minute to do it and turn in a crappy assignment. I've been turning my assignments on time with extra time to edit it just in case. I hated doing homework because I felt like it took up too much of my time. But in reality, I wasn't doing anything productive with that time. I was really just sitting around watching Netflix or goofing off with my ex-boyfriend.
3) Study- I hate studying. I hate reading my textbooks. They bore me to no end. I would rather do homework ALL DAY rather than study. BUT I know it needs to be done, so it will be done :) Just begrudgingly....
4) Go running- I was doing really well with this from July-September of last year, but I got bronchitis/pneumonia (I was seriously miserable) and had to stop running because I literally could not breathe :/ I tried running once in October when the weather was warm, but then it got cold again and I hate the cold. So last week I went running for the first time in months and although I was hurting for a few days afterwards, it felt amazing. I missed it so much. I've been running 3 times since then. Where I go running on base makes it fun to go running. I run along the flightline and if I time it correctly, planes fly over me when running. And if you know me, you know I love airplanes :)
5) Keep yourself healthy- I haven't been to the doctor this year, I don't think. I want to keep it that way. Many of the people in my family are sick with some sort of ailment. My Paw died from complications of lung cancer. I am trying to eat healthier. I buy candy less. I buy sweets in general less. I'm trying to cut back on my fast food intake. I just downloaded an app that counts calories in fast food. It breaks it down by restaurant. I'm hoping that will deter my "need" for fast food. The running and exercise are to keep my heart healthy. I eat foods with smaller amounts of sodium when I eat at work or home. I don't take supplements to make up for what I'm lacking in my diet (veggies, calcium) but I don't believe that supplements are good for you. Plus most of them make me feel icky.
6) Smile more- I've been told I have a nice smile. I make more money at work when I smile. It should only make sense that I want to smile more. But for a long time, I felt like there was no reason for me to smile. I was falling into a deeper and darker depression. I also had horrible anxiety. Both of these have been with me since my freshman year of high school. I had a hard time talking to people which I most recently started to have an easier time with. I love being a more social person and less awkward. Which I something I really had a hard time with. It's taken medication for me to get over all this, but the medicine has helped and turned me into a more motivated and happier more confident person :)
7) Make others smile- I love to make people happy. I will sit there and sing-say everything to someone if they look upset. I usually only do that if I'm really close with that person though. But if I am walking somewhere and pass someone, I will smile and say hi to them which is not something that happens very much anymore in today's society. I like being a little on the goofy side and saying funny things to make others laugh. I always tell my customers to have a nice day with a smile on my face. I enjoy doing those things. I enjoy seeing people happy and it makes me even happier to know that I have done something to contribute to that.
8) Choose your friends wisely- Most recently, I have scaled back on my friends. I got rid of one the other day and thank goodness I did it when I did. I have this feeling that if I was there in person with him when I called it off, I would have been hurt physically. Another set of my friends turned me away on my birthday. That felt great. But oh well. It just goes to show how they value my friendship, if they did at all. I love being with my friends, but only if they want to be with me. I know I'm not always a positive person, but I am working on that. I want friends I can trust and have fun with.
So, if you read through this entire book, thanks, lol
I know it was probably boring, BUT if I don't get things like this down in writing (typing), I never follow through with it. So now I can do that :)
I'm going to shower and get ready to go to a friend's house to drink wine and make brownies with a friend:)
Have a great evening!
1) Go to school- In the past 2 years, my drive to go to class has diminished. I hated going to class and sitting there listening to the professor ramble on and on about things I would not use in my career as a medical professional. I've failed out of school twice already and I'm only 22. I'm tired of failing and the #1 way to stop that is to actually go to class. Since coming back from La, I've only missed one class and that was the day after Superbowl. I had a late night spent making amends with a friend, so school would not have been productive had I gone.
2) Do your homework- This is another bad habit I have. Not doing my homework. Either that or waiting until the last minute to do it and turn in a crappy assignment. I've been turning my assignments on time with extra time to edit it just in case. I hated doing homework because I felt like it took up too much of my time. But in reality, I wasn't doing anything productive with that time. I was really just sitting around watching Netflix or goofing off with my ex-boyfriend.
3) Study- I hate studying. I hate reading my textbooks. They bore me to no end. I would rather do homework ALL DAY rather than study. BUT I know it needs to be done, so it will be done :) Just begrudgingly....
4) Go running- I was doing really well with this from July-September of last year, but I got bronchitis/pneumonia (I was seriously miserable) and had to stop running because I literally could not breathe :/ I tried running once in October when the weather was warm, but then it got cold again and I hate the cold. So last week I went running for the first time in months and although I was hurting for a few days afterwards, it felt amazing. I missed it so much. I've been running 3 times since then. Where I go running on base makes it fun to go running. I run along the flightline and if I time it correctly, planes fly over me when running. And if you know me, you know I love airplanes :)
5) Keep yourself healthy- I haven't been to the doctor this year, I don't think. I want to keep it that way. Many of the people in my family are sick with some sort of ailment. My Paw died from complications of lung cancer. I am trying to eat healthier. I buy candy less. I buy sweets in general less. I'm trying to cut back on my fast food intake. I just downloaded an app that counts calories in fast food. It breaks it down by restaurant. I'm hoping that will deter my "need" for fast food. The running and exercise are to keep my heart healthy. I eat foods with smaller amounts of sodium when I eat at work or home. I don't take supplements to make up for what I'm lacking in my diet (veggies, calcium) but I don't believe that supplements are good for you. Plus most of them make me feel icky.
6) Smile more- I've been told I have a nice smile. I make more money at work when I smile. It should only make sense that I want to smile more. But for a long time, I felt like there was no reason for me to smile. I was falling into a deeper and darker depression. I also had horrible anxiety. Both of these have been with me since my freshman year of high school. I had a hard time talking to people which I most recently started to have an easier time with. I love being a more social person and less awkward. Which I something I really had a hard time with. It's taken medication for me to get over all this, but the medicine has helped and turned me into a more motivated and happier more confident person :)
7) Make others smile- I love to make people happy. I will sit there and sing-say everything to someone if they look upset. I usually only do that if I'm really close with that person though. But if I am walking somewhere and pass someone, I will smile and say hi to them which is not something that happens very much anymore in today's society. I like being a little on the goofy side and saying funny things to make others laugh. I always tell my customers to have a nice day with a smile on my face. I enjoy doing those things. I enjoy seeing people happy and it makes me even happier to know that I have done something to contribute to that.
8) Choose your friends wisely- Most recently, I have scaled back on my friends. I got rid of one the other day and thank goodness I did it when I did. I have this feeling that if I was there in person with him when I called it off, I would have been hurt physically. Another set of my friends turned me away on my birthday. That felt great. But oh well. It just goes to show how they value my friendship, if they did at all. I love being with my friends, but only if they want to be with me. I know I'm not always a positive person, but I am working on that. I want friends I can trust and have fun with.
So, if you read through this entire book, thanks, lol
I know it was probably boring, BUT if I don't get things like this down in writing (typing), I never follow through with it. So now I can do that :)
I'm going to shower and get ready to go to a friend's house to drink wine and make brownies with a friend:)
Have a great evening!
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Eff. Em. Ell.
Just when you think you know it all, you find out you know nothing at all.
I'm going to call these people boy 1 and boy 2.
Boy 1 I've liked for a couple of months.
Boy 2 I've liked for a couple of weeks.
Boy 1 never told me how he felt until I went on a few dates and fell in love with boy 2.
Now, I'm stuck in the worst triangle ever. I love them both. I can either pick one or neither. I'm thinking about choosing neither. Even if it breaks everyone's hearts. This is too much stress for me. I've literally done nothing all weekend but sit in bed and cry. And then today after scheduling a meetup time with boy 1 I did some running, some homework and I took a shower. And ate. Because I didn't do that this weekend either. Then I met up with boy 1 and told him how I felt and now I feel a million times better. Then we watched the office and all was good until his roommates dog pooped in the room. That was interesting.
Now I don't know what to tell boy 2. I hate my life sometimes, but at least I am alive. And that's all that matters.
Have a goodnight y'all.
I'm going to call these people boy 1 and boy 2.
Boy 1 I've liked for a couple of months.
Boy 2 I've liked for a couple of weeks.
Boy 1 never told me how he felt until I went on a few dates and fell in love with boy 2.
Now, I'm stuck in the worst triangle ever. I love them both. I can either pick one or neither. I'm thinking about choosing neither. Even if it breaks everyone's hearts. This is too much stress for me. I've literally done nothing all weekend but sit in bed and cry. And then today after scheduling a meetup time with boy 1 I did some running, some homework and I took a shower. And ate. Because I didn't do that this weekend either. Then I met up with boy 1 and told him how I felt and now I feel a million times better. Then we watched the office and all was good until his roommates dog pooped in the room. That was interesting.
Now I don't know what to tell boy 2. I hate my life sometimes, but at least I am alive. And that's all that matters.
Have a goodnight y'all.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Every single second's a lifetime memory
So the past few weeks have been the best and worst of my entire life.
Mr. Terry Grenat, a wonderful Christian man that I've known for 4 years now, passed away on Saturday January 12, 2013 from unexpected post-surgery complications. He left behind a wife, 3 children and many more grandchildren. He also left behind an amazing legacy. He served in the United States Air Force and the US Civil Service for almost 50 years. His love for Christ was inspiring and almost overwhelming if you didn't know him well. He was also a very close friend to my family, especially my daddy. He was one out of a handful of lights in my walk with Christ and I will always be grateful for that.
My Paw, the greatest man I've ever known aside from my Da, passed away on Monday January 14, 2013 at 9:45am. He called my daddy that morning and told him that he was hurting so much and he was ready to go. Daddy asked him to wait until we could get there later in the day. Paw said he would try. Then Daddy called him back and told him that if he was ready to go, Daddy could be okay with it. So Paw passed away in his sleep before we could even leave Georgia. When my dad called to tell me, I just knew right away but I was driving and I knew I couldn't even begin to process it unless I wanted to crash on the way home. When I got home, I started crying so hard I could barely breathe. We left for Louisiana that evening and made it there at 430am on Tuesday. His funeral was on Wednesday. Over 200 people showed up and I heard so many stories of how amazing my Paw was and how many people loved him and enjoyed his amazing personality. A woman who worked at a local bank showed up. My Paw would go visit her just to see how she and her family were doing. The manager of the McDonalds in town cried when she found out about him passing. He was there almost every morning for breakfast and he always had to have that "senior citizens drink". Ha. He just made an enormous impact on so many people's lives. The viewing was from 9-9 and he was cremated the next day.
This was originally not going to be a sad depressing post, but I guess it quickly turned that way. Or at least that's how I see it.
This was going to be a post about my boy Jake. I mentioned him in a previous post. His momma is the one who passed away on Christmas Eve. Well, he and I have been on a few dates and have decided to make things kind of official. We've agreed not to see other people. I'm absolutely madly in love with him. It might seem fast, but to me it feels meant to be. Plus I've known him for a little while. He's the first guy to EVER treat me like my daddy always told me I should be treated. He makes me a priority and not an after thought like someone else I have written about on here. He literally pays for everything (which I am not completely happy about. I have a job so I can pay for my own stuff...lol) He texts me to tell me "good morning" in the mornings and "good night" at night. He tells me he misses me all the time and he tells me he loves me. He helped me make it through my Paw's funeral. Which I didn't expect him to even be there seeing as how he had to be there for his momma less than 3 weeks before. He makes me truly happy which is some thing I haven't felt with a guy in such a long time. I was unhappy for so long with my ex and with... I think I called him "Blue", I'm not really happy. I want a relationship with someone who wants to love me. Not someone who sometimes misses the feeling of being in a relationship and then other times forgets I exist. I can still be friends with him, but I know now it'll never evolve into anything more. It's not worth the headache.
Anyways, it's time for me to go to sleep. I have a long day tomorrow with work and school.
I hope y'all have a great day :)
Mr. Terry Grenat, a wonderful Christian man that I've known for 4 years now, passed away on Saturday January 12, 2013 from unexpected post-surgery complications. He left behind a wife, 3 children and many more grandchildren. He also left behind an amazing legacy. He served in the United States Air Force and the US Civil Service for almost 50 years. His love for Christ was inspiring and almost overwhelming if you didn't know him well. He was also a very close friend to my family, especially my daddy. He was one out of a handful of lights in my walk with Christ and I will always be grateful for that.
My Paw, the greatest man I've ever known aside from my Da, passed away on Monday January 14, 2013 at 9:45am. He called my daddy that morning and told him that he was hurting so much and he was ready to go. Daddy asked him to wait until we could get there later in the day. Paw said he would try. Then Daddy called him back and told him that if he was ready to go, Daddy could be okay with it. So Paw passed away in his sleep before we could even leave Georgia. When my dad called to tell me, I just knew right away but I was driving and I knew I couldn't even begin to process it unless I wanted to crash on the way home. When I got home, I started crying so hard I could barely breathe. We left for Louisiana that evening and made it there at 430am on Tuesday. His funeral was on Wednesday. Over 200 people showed up and I heard so many stories of how amazing my Paw was and how many people loved him and enjoyed his amazing personality. A woman who worked at a local bank showed up. My Paw would go visit her just to see how she and her family were doing. The manager of the McDonalds in town cried when she found out about him passing. He was there almost every morning for breakfast and he always had to have that "senior citizens drink". Ha. He just made an enormous impact on so many people's lives. The viewing was from 9-9 and he was cremated the next day.
This was originally not going to be a sad depressing post, but I guess it quickly turned that way. Or at least that's how I see it.
This was going to be a post about my boy Jake. I mentioned him in a previous post. His momma is the one who passed away on Christmas Eve. Well, he and I have been on a few dates and have decided to make things kind of official. We've agreed not to see other people. I'm absolutely madly in love with him. It might seem fast, but to me it feels meant to be. Plus I've known him for a little while. He's the first guy to EVER treat me like my daddy always told me I should be treated. He makes me a priority and not an after thought like someone else I have written about on here. He literally pays for everything (which I am not completely happy about. I have a job so I can pay for my own stuff...lol) He texts me to tell me "good morning" in the mornings and "good night" at night. He tells me he misses me all the time and he tells me he loves me. He helped me make it through my Paw's funeral. Which I didn't expect him to even be there seeing as how he had to be there for his momma less than 3 weeks before. He makes me truly happy which is some thing I haven't felt with a guy in such a long time. I was unhappy for so long with my ex and with... I think I called him "Blue", I'm not really happy. I want a relationship with someone who wants to love me. Not someone who sometimes misses the feeling of being in a relationship and then other times forgets I exist. I can still be friends with him, but I know now it'll never evolve into anything more. It's not worth the headache.
Anyways, it's time for me to go to sleep. I have a long day tomorrow with work and school.
I hope y'all have a great day :)
Monday, January 14, 2013
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